Bodies are Private.

It is my experience in this work, that body’s are private. And not just the private parts, all of it. From baby bodies to older adult bodies. Simply because they are publicly viewable does not give permission to publicly comment, judge or remark. 

I have learned from children and those in recovery that what seems like a well-meaning negative or positive food, body or weight comment can have a very negative impact. For those struggling with their body, weight or food, too often these comments can be negative motivation to continue a self-harming pattern. “If only the person knew how I have been harming myself to look this way or what my body has been through”. For children, it is what we talk about and comment on that teaches them about our world and their own bodies as acceptable or not.

Because of the potential for harm, I offer the alternative to consider someone’s unseeable parts. Those attributes that stand out to us most when we close our eyes.  Share this with them as an alternative to commenting on their body.

Develop alternatives things you can say as a greeting, a compliment and especially instead of making a body, weight, appearance, food or diet comment. Practice strategies to change the conversation if these topics are the main events that your people gravitate toward. This requires some thoughtfulness on all of our parts to reconsider our words and intentions.  For those in recovery, this can be helpful nutrition recovery work to practice in your sessions.

1. It is so nice to see you.

2. You are so snuggly.

4. You are such a thoughtful friend.

5. You are so much fun!

7. I really admire what you did or said.

8. You are so funny, you make me laugh.

9. You are like a breath of fresh air.

10. You are so important to me.

11. What you did made me want to be a better person.

12. Your passion for that is contagious.

13. I am so glad that you were born.

14. My world won’t be the same without you in it.

15. I love sitting and talking with you.

16. You give the best hugs.